


Make It Count

by rhoen



Series: KakaYama Stuff [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Dialogue Heavy, For Once..., M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 20:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/rhoen
Summary: Tenzou nearly took a fatal hit intended for Kakashi, and Kakashi isn't happy about it.





	Make It Count

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt! katlynwtf asked for kakayama "you're cute when you're angry", so here it is! My long-suffering, oh-so-wonderful beta hasn't had to suffer through this (yet), so all mistakes are my own (including that one).
> 
> I guess this is set towards the end of Kakashi's ANBU career, but where it falls doesn't really matter. It's totally up to you.
> 
> In this Tenzou hasn't had much to drink/he's not actually drunk, but alcohol is mentioned and consumed in small amounts. *shrugs, because who else needs warnings for alcohol content other than me? And I wrote the damn thing so...*

“Stop laughing! I’m serious!”

Kakashi felt his control slipping even further when Tenzou giggled, completely ignoring the gravity of the conversation. The younger man was, for once, infuriatingly flippant, and it grated against Kakashi's already frayed nerves.

“Tenzou!” he snapped, only succeeding in winning himself another peel of laughter.

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Tenzou chuckled, reaching for the bottle of sake, which Kakashi promptly snatched away. Tenzou’s words made him uncomfortable for a number of reasons, one of which being that he wasn’t  _cute_. Hatake Kakashi was many things, but cute, adorable, endearing, sweet or any such adjective wasn’t one of them.

His dark gaze fixed intently on Kakashi’s face, Tenzou kept grinning. His happiness might be infectious if the topic under discussion weren’t so serious, and Kakashi glowered as fiercely as he could.

“Mm, so intense, senpai,” Tenzou chortled, swaying towards Kakashi a little.

“Tenzou, I mean it. You can’t go risking your life like that.”

Tenzou huffed, his mood seeming to break. “We’re shinobi. It’s our job,” he countered.

“What you did wasn’t.”

“I saved your life.”

“You didn’t even consider the risks!”

“I considered enough.”

Tenzou might have stopped laughing and now seem more sober than tipsy, but Kakashi knew he wasn’t going to make any progress. He sighed, and, weighed down by weariness, pushed the sake back towards Tenzou.

“I thought you’d at least thank me,” Tenzou said, resentment creeping into his voice as he poured another cup, neglecting to offer Kakashi any.

Kakashi’s throat closed up, and another wave of fury gripped him. He couldn’t thank Tenzou for what he’d done. The other man had forsaken everything and cast aside all his usual care and caution to throw himself directly into harm’s way for Kakashi. He should, by rights, be dead by now; another loved one lost.

“Don’t...” Kakashi started, his voice tight. “I don’t want you to do that again. Ever.”

Now it was Tenzou’s turn to be angry. His expression darkened, hardening into something akin to bitterness. “So it’s okay for you to tear yourself apart trying to save someone you care about, but I’m not allowed to do the same? What is it, Kakashi – what bothers you so much about the fact I just saved your life? Is it really so awful being indebted to someone? Did you  _want_  to die? Or is it just because it’s me?”

Tenzou wasn’t cute when he was angry; he was formidable. Kakashi tensed as he weathered the onslaught, trying to work out what a suitable response might be. He couldn’t guess. All he had was his own fear and frustration, and the closely guarded truth he wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to put into words.

“I’m sick of being taken for granted, Hatake-san,” Tenzou continued, face flushed with emotion. “I’m sick of being seen as less. I’m sick of being told we’re equal, and yet never being afforded the same respect I give you. Why must I sit by and watch someone I care about die? Why can’t I—”

“Because you’re too important!” 

Stunned by the force of his own words and the emotions coursing through him, Kakashi tried to catch his breath. He felt run ragged, and watched in wide-eyed horror as Tenzou froze. Desperation filled him as he saw the play of thoughts and emotions on Tenzou’s face, his gaze becoming unfocused and slipping as he interpreted Kakashi’s words the only way he knew how: as a tool. As a valuable resource, kept and preserved for his usefulness rather than who he was as a person. 

“To me,” Kakashi croaked out, tagging on awkward admission in a desperate bid to fix the mistake he’d made. “You’re too important to me.”

Tenzou stared at him in disbelief, struck dumb by the confession. Slowly his senses seemed to return, and his gaze slid sideways, away from Kakashi.

“Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not!” Intimacy didn’t come easily to Kakashi, yet his first instinct was to reach out and grasp Tenzou’s hand, perhaps to try and stop him from leaving or moving any further away. He caught Tenzou’s eye and repeated himself with all the sincerity he could, trying to open his already cracked and broken heart to try and show he meant it. “I’m not. I’m serious, Tenzou. If anything happened to you... Just the thought of it...”

Demons rose within him, twisting and writhing and clawing at him as graphic images of all the horrific ways Tenzou might die filled his vision. He tried to push them down, unable to face the mistakes he’d made and the people he’d lost. There mere thought of Tenzou being another tragedy in his life of left him unable to breathe.

“Senpai?”

Hearing Tenzou’s voice, Kakashi realised how far he’d drifted. He brought himself back to the present, focusing on the little details that made the whole: the warmth of the room, the scent of the polish used on the floor, the sound of his own breathing and the wind swirling outside, the warmth of Tenzou’s hand in his own, the tightness of his grip...

When Kakashi focused on him again, he realised that Tenzou’s gaze was full of concern. He felt embarrassed by his weakness, and yet he was already cracked open. The damage was already done. What harm could a little more honesty do?

He knew the answer, but disregarded it.

“I've watched too many people I care about die. I can’t go through that again.”

Tenzou seemed caught between astonishment and annoyance, and for several seconds the two warred within him, until he gave a steady sigh, some of the tension leaving his body.

“You care about me,” he finally said, although Kakashi could hear the uncertainty in the statement.

“For what little it counts,” Kakashi shrugged, testing the resistance and trying to pull his hand back.

Tenzou didn’t let go. “It counts for a lot. The famous Hatake Kakashi doesn’t open up to just anyone.”

There was a ghost of a smile on Tenzou’s lips, and for a moment he seemed almost shy and abashed.

“And, if it’s worth anything, I care about you too.”

Kakashi felt the blush crawling over his skin, and swallowed with difficulty. “It’s worth a lot to me.”

Smiling now, Tenzou let go of Kakashi’s hand and instead poured a second cup of sake. He nudged it towards Kakashi.

“And, as I said,” Tenzou continued, lifting his own cup. “I’m a shinobi. I won’t die so easily.”

“Good,” Kakashi said, wishing the world was that simple. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Tenzou chuckled, knocking back his drink. “You do that. I’m expecting the same of you.”

“Well, you know what they say about expectations...”

“Are you going to break my heart?”

Kakashi downed his drink. “Would you trust me with it?”

The blush Tenzou gave as he quickly looked away was answer enough, and it left Kakashi stunned. He hadn’t expected a response like that.

“Yeah,” Tenzou said, brave enough to voice his thoughts and feelings. “If it were going to be anyone, it would be you.”

Kakashi was torn being not being drunk enough for this conversation, and wanting to remain sober enough to remember it if it went the way he hoped it would. He took another drink of sake, wondering how on earth he was supposed to proceed. As he thumbed the label on the bottle, contemplating a third cup, an idea came to him.

“So there’s no one at the moment?” he asked, just to be sure where they both stood.

“No,” Tenzou confirmed.

Kakashi gave a thoughtful hum, thoughts racing. He couldn’t believe what he was about to ask.

“But it could be me?”

Tenzou gave a breathless answer, and Kakashi could almost hear his racing heartbeat. “Yes.”

“Do you want it to be me?”

A pause, and then: “Yes.”

The silence stretched out between them, Kakashi barely able to believe what was happening and if he should keep pushing his luck, and Tenzou... Tenzou seeming bewildered. “Do you wa—?” he finally asked.

“I have a proposal,” Kakashi announced, unable to allow himself to think too closely about what he was doing or saying. “Which I’d rather no one heard about if you reject it...”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Tenzou said solemnly, which Kakashi already knew but needed to hear to quell ingrained paranoia.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “So, how about we go somewhere? I want to thank you properly for recklessly endangering your life and almost dying to save mine.”

Tenzou clearly disagreed with the wording, but resisted commenting on it. “You can’t just say it here?”

“Uh, I was thinking more about showing,” Kakashi admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh,” Tenzou managed, cheeks darkening again. It was clear he’d picked up on the fact that Kakashi wasn’t offering to take them out for a meal, although now that the idea occurred to him, Kakashi realised it was a good one.

“Or dinner,” he quickly added.

“I think it’s standard for people to start with dinner and then progress to other things,” Tenzou pointed out. Kakashi could hear the ‘but’ in his voice, and could see Tenzou’s hesitance, but the other man said nothing more.

“We’re not exactly normal, though, are we?” Kakashi prompted.

Tenzou gave a wry grin, agreeing with him. “No, we’re not.”

“So...?”

With a shy smile, Tenzou reached out for Kakashi’s hand, clasping it within his own and lacing their fingers together as he made the decision. “My bedroom’s closer.”

Grinning and feeling an excitement he’d never experienced before, Kakashi squeezed Tenzou’s hand. One of the hardest things about losing someone was all those moments that could have been: all those things they could have said and done and enjoyed together. Wasted moments weighed heavily on Kakashi’s heart, and he couldn’t abide the thought of carrying yet more of them. Seeing Tenzou fling himself so recklessly into harm’s way to save his life had upset him deeply, and now he understood why. There was so much he wanted to say and do with the other man – things he’d never allowed himself to acknowledge – and now, if he played his cards right, he could.

Following Tenzou, Kakashi resolved to never to waste another moment.


End file.
